Log in

No account? Create an account
16 January 2009 @ 12:45 am
Micky Rabbit (Chapter 8)  


Yoochun blinked a couple of times before wincing at the pain on his neck. “Where am I?” he mumbled.

“Oh! You’re awake!” a female voice greeted him.

Yoochun opened his eyes completely and stared at his surrounding, then at the female in a nurse outfit. “You’re a nurse! Why am I here?”

“We found you unconscious in the elevator. We did a simple check up and didn’t find anything wrong. Do you feel okay?”

“Just a little strain in my neck,” Yoochun replied. Then he recalled what had happened. “Right, the elevator was being a jerk. Junsu and I…wait, where’s Junsu?”

“Your friend?”

“Uh...” Yoochun recalled the kiss in the elevator and smiled slyly, “Right, my ‘friend’.”

“Oh, he only asked for you to be taken to the hospital.”

“Where is he now?”

“We’re not sure, but he assured out staff that he was perfectly well.”

“Okay, that’s good,” Yoochun said. “Can I leave?”

“If you feel well, then I only need you to sign this document.”

Yoochun did whatever was necessary and once finished, he ran out of the hospital to catch a taxi.

In the taxi, he wondered how he had fallen unconscious. His struggled to remember and finally recalled a high pitch shriek and pain.

Junsu had knocked him out!

Yoochun rubbed his neck and frowned. Man, he must have scared Junsu with that kiss.

But the guy’s lips looked too good to not kiss! And he was the one who told Yoochun to look at his lips!

“Crap,” Yoochun grumbled as he muffled his face in his hands.

“Sir, are you okay?” the taxi driver inquired.

“I’m far from it,” Yoochun replied sadly.

“Well, on the bright side, you’re close to home!” the taxi driver replied.

Yoochun looked up to see the vehicle pull up to the apartment complex he shared with Junsu.

“Ugh…” Yoochun moaned.

“Pay the fee, sir,” the taxi driver told him.

Yoochun reached into his pocket and pulled out a bill. It was double what the fare cost, but he didn’t care. He dragged himself out of the taxi and walked towards the complex.

“Wow, have a great night, sir!” the taxi driver cheered at the large tip he received.

“‘Great night’ my ass,” Yoochun grumble.

“Hello! How are you feeling?” Junsu greeted Yoochun with a smile when he walked into the apartment. He was wearing a pink apron and preparing dinner. “I’ve cooked up a really nice meal. Go wash your hands.”

Yoochun stood there staring at Junsu with a raised eyebrow. He was acting…normal…too normal.

“What do you mean ‘how are you feeling’? My neck hurts like hell and it’s your fault,” Yoochun replied, closing the door behind him.

“You passed out because you’re claustrophobic,” Junsu replied with a blank expression.

“I passed out because you knocked me out!”

Junsu looked down at the oven mitt that covered his hand. “I did not.”

“I remember so don’t lie,” Yoochun confronted. “Why are you even lying about it? Just tell me that I scared you with the kiss so you knocked me out!”

Junsu sighed. “Yoochun, sometimes it’s just easier to lie and be lied to.”

Yoochun frowned. He’d been prepared for Junsu to yell at him and even punch him a couple of times before he’d confess his feelings and then they would have their happily ever after.

But he’d walked in to find a Junsu who chose to forget the event in the elevator. That pissed Yoochun off. But then, a billion emotions were running through him and he didn’t know which one he wanted to grasp on to.

“Since when did lying become a habit for you? You were always the innocent guy with the angelic face.”

Junsu rolled his eyes. “I am not the innocent guy with the angelic face.”

“Yeah, right! You’re the most honest and most innocent person I know. You probably hate liars more than anything else in the world. Would it help if I promise to not tell anymore lies?” Yoochun blurted his words out at a rapid speed.

Junsu wanted to scoff. He wanted to ask Yoochun, ‘How could a liar hate lying? How could Junsu hate lying when he was living a lie himself?’

Junsu did not ask. He just sighed. “Can we have dinner? I’m starving. And I’m sorry for hitting you in the elevator. I was shocked and instincts had me throwing my fist around.”

“Okay,” Yoochun simply said. At least Junsu was admitting that the kiss did take place.

Fifteen minutes later, they were seated at the table.

“This is amazing!” Yoochun said between bites as he chomped on the chicken. Junsu was laughing as he watched Yoochun eat.

The meal was basically made up of fast food dishes Yoochun loved to eat, but Junsu had substituted some ingredients to make the dishes a lot healthier than they were.

“Thank you,” Junsu grinned.

“I could live off your cooking for the rest of my life!” Yoochun continued, not even thinking about his words because his mind was too occupied.

Junsu’s smile faded slightly as he repeated, “Thank you.”

After four helpings, Yoochun was ready to stop. Junsu was smiling and washing dishes at the sink.

Yoochun forced himself out of the chair and walked over to Junsu. He stood next to Junsu so that their shoulders touched.

“Man, you have a devil’s heart to go with that angelic face. Look at what you did to me!” he pointed at his stomach. “My six-pack is gone!”

Junsu rinsed off the dishes and chuckled. “You never had a six-pack.”

Yoochun raised a mischievous eyebrow at him. “You’ve noticed?”

Junsu realized what he had said and blushed a bit. “No, it was a wild guess. You’re too lazy to exercise anyway.”

“Right,” Yoochun murmured sarcastically.

“You are in my way,” Junsu signaled at how close Yoochun was standing.

“Oh, sorry,” Yoochun stepped back so Junsu could reach for a towel. Yoochun grabbed for it as well. “Here, I’ll dry the dishes.”

Junsu pulled his hand back the moment it came in contact with Yoochun’s hand.

Yoochun noticed. Junsu pretended not to notice.

“Okay, you do that. I’m going to shower and get ready for bed,” Junsu smiled before walking out of the kitchen.


Junsu was in his bunny pajamas, he’d done his facial, brushed his teeth, flossed, and was all ready for his beauty sleep. Too bad he couldn’t sleep.

Junsu stopped staring at the contently sleeping Micky and turned his eyes to the drawer. Sighing, he got up from the bed and walked over to the drawer. He retrieved a set of small keys on the table and unlocked the small drawer.

Junsu pulled the drawer open and was about to reach in to grab the…


Yoochun’s voice and his knock at the door nearly caused Junsu to jump out of his skin. He slammed the drawer shut, locked it quick and put the keys back in their safe place.

“Y…yes?” Junsu replied.

“Can I come in?”

Junsu jumped into bed and pulled the blanket over himself so that it looked like he was ready to sleep. “Yes, go ahead,” he replied.

Yoochun opened the door, somehow happy to see that Junsu had not locked it. He stuck his head in and immediately wished he had a camera to capture the image before him.

Junsu was wearing his cotton white bunny pajamas with the hood over his head. The bunny ears attached to the hood were tinged with a little bit of pink to make a nice contrast with his bangs. The fluff of white bed sheets and white blanket made him look like a bunny sitting on a cloud. Add a halo and he’d an angel!


Yoochun blinked and snapped out of his daze. “Oh, right, sorry,” he murmured as he walked into the room and pointed to the corner of the bed. “Can I sit?”

“Sure,” Junsu smiled. “Did you need something?”

“I couldn’t sleep so…”

“I can warm up some milk for you. It should help.”

“No, I can’t sleep because I have some things on my mind.”

“Oh,” Junsu wondered if he should invite Yoochun to reveal his thoughts.

Instead of just sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to Junsu, Yoochun moved so his right leg was bent and on the bed. He was sitting in a comfortable position and looking at Junsu.

“Question for you: what’s your English name?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I’m just curious. You know mine so I should know yours.”

Junsu smiled as he remembered HOW he had found out about Yoochun’s English name. “It’s ‘Xiah’.”

“Xiah,” Yoochun repeated, as if testing the word. “Nice name.”

Junsu smiled, “Thank you.”

“Okay, now you ask me a random question.”

Junsu tapped cutely at his chin. “Why did you always wear black or navy blue?”

“Easy to match and I look cool in dark colors,” Yoochun easily replied. “My turn: What’s your favorite food?”

“Yachae Mandoo, my mother used to make it for me all the time. I would always want to help, but my dumplings would end up being deformed while her’s would look too beautiful to eat.”

Yoochun laughed and Junsu couldn’t help but join. The two continued to ask random questions and laughed like there was not a care in the world.

“Can you swim?”

“I was once told I swim like a duck…whatever that means,” Junsu replied. “Hmm…do you sing?”

“I’m amazing at singing. People tell me I sound like Rain,” Yoochun struck a manly pose. Junsu cracked up. “Oh, shut up.”

“Sorry,” Junsu continued to laugh, but brought his hand up to cover his mouth.

Yoochun concluded that he really enjoyed the sound of Junsu’s laughter. It had sounded weird to him when he first heard it, but now, he may have to hear it at least five times a day in order to survive.

“Oh, hey, my colleague introduced a game to me yesterday. Want to give it a try?”

“What game is it?”

“I ask you questions really fast and you have to answer them just as fast. So no time to think about your answer,” Yoochun explained.

Junsu bit at his lips. “What kind of questions?”

It bothered Yoochun that Junsu was becoming defensive.

“It’s just a fun game. I ask you about your favorite sports or your birthday.”

“Oh, okay,” Junsu smiled.

Yoochun grinned. “Okay, are you ready?”

Junsu nodded cutely. “Ready.”



















Junsu clamped his mouth shut and slapped his hand over his lips.

Yoochun stared at him with an open mouth. The ‘O’ shape that Yoochun’s lips formed slowly modified into a sweet smile.

Acting like a young school boy who’d just had the love of his life confess to him, Yoochun looked down shyly at his hands, his head tilted cutely. “You love me?” he asked in a sugary voice and syrupy smile.

“I do,” Junsu removed his hands from his lips to reply. “Just like I love Jaejoong and Changmin; you are all like brothers to me.”

Yoochun blinked and stopped with his girlie actions. He looked up at Junsu with a confused frown, “What?”

“You said ‘love?’ and I replied ‘You and your brothers,’” Junsu clarified.

“What? No! That’s not what I meant!”

Junsu blinked as if he was confused. “What do you mean then?”

“I…I meant…okay,” Yoochun sighed in frustration. He moved a little bit closer towards Junsu on the bed. “Let’s put it this way then. I. Love. You.”

He spoke each of the three words clearly and looked into Junsu’s eyes to search for understanding.

Junsu suddenly smiled. “Yes, I love you too, just as much as I love Jaejoong and Changmin.”

“No!” Yoochun exclaimed, his hands messing up his hair. “I mean, I love you, not as a brother!”

“As a sister?” Junsu inquired with wide innocent eyes.

“No! I love you! I want to marry you! Do you understand?”

“Oh…” Junsu looked down and unconsciously touched his lips with his index finger. Yoochun stared at him, waiting for a reaction. He spoke after an eternity of silence, “But…I don’t love you in that way.”

Yoochun’s mouth dropped open again, but this time, a smile did not replace it.

“But…but you said you’d catch me if I fell in love with you!”


Yoochun turned to walk out of the room, when he clumsily tripped on the foot of the bed.

Junsu immediately reacted and caught him.

Yoochun was hoping for a few seconds of staring into each other’s eyes and having Junsu’s arm around his waist…like in those movies. But it didn’t happen. Junsu just held him back into a balanced position and removed his arms from Yoochun’s waist.

“Are you okay?” Junsu questioned. He looked down at Yoochun’s foot to see if it was bruised, then back up at Yoochun’s face.

If his foot hurt, Yoochun sure didn’t show it on his face. “Junsu,” Yoochun began, staring tentatively into Junsu’s eyes.

“Huh?” Junsu felt lost in Yoochun’s eyes.

“Will you catch me every time I fall?”

A sweet smile appeared on Junsu’s lips. “If I can, I will.”


“No! No! You have it all wrong! I meant if you tripped, I would catch you…physically, literally…not figuratively.”

“Then…what…what about that picture in your wallet?”

Junsu’s eyes widened. Yoochun looked around and saw Junsu’s messenger bag hanging from the stand next to the bed. He stood up and grabbed it.

“Stop!” Junsu climbed out of the bed to stop him.

Both stood at the side of the bed as Yoochun uncovered the wallet and pulled the picture out of it before Junsu could stop him.

He found that he had pulled out two pictures instead. One was of Junsu himself and the other was a folded picture of Yoochun and his two brothers; only the picture of Yoochun, Changmin, and Jaejoong were folded so that only Yoochun’s picture was visible.

“See? If you say you love the three of us all the same, why did you fold away Jaejoong and Changmin’s pictures?”

Junsu blinked and refused to look into Yoochun’s eyes. “You know how crazy I am about fashion. I liked what you were wearing and it made a good contrast with what I’m wearing in this picture.”

“That’s a stupid excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse.”

“It’s an excuse and you know it.”

“If I know that it’s an excuse as you claim, then I think I would know if it’s NOT an excuse as well.”

Yoochun frowned and looked at the two pictures in his hands. Junsu was wearing bright colors while Yoochun wore black in the pictures.

“How can you like what I’m wearing? It’s all black!”

“Like I said, the contrast looks nice.”

“Are you trying to imply that we’re too different to be together?”

Junsu wondered how Yoochun could have come up with that conclusion. But then…he couldn’t blame Yoochun. After all, Yoochun did not know the truth that Junsu knew.

“No, that’s not…” Junsu tried to assure.

“I admit, we were like sky and earth, black and white in the beginning, but we’ve both changed in the past months! I’m wearing color, eating healthy, and speaking politely. You’re wearing some black, eating junk food, and using contractions! We’ve both changed to match each other and it came so naturally too!”

“Yoochun, difference isn’t the reason. The reason is simply that I do not love you in that way!”

The two stood face to face, eyes unwilling to meet.

Junsu looked up in shock when he heard Yoochun’s bitter laugh. He felt his heart ache and his throat clogged.

“Well, shit, don’t I feel like an ass?” Yoochun scoffed in a low voice.

Junsu looked away from Yoochun’s bitter smile. “Don’t cuss,” he murmured quietly.

He nearly jumped backwards when Yoochun shouted in a loud voice, “Shit! Ass! Fuck! I can cuss all I want! You’re no one to me. You don’t have the right to tell me what to do and what not to do!”

Junsu continued staring sadly at the ground as he listened to Yoochun run out. He ran to his own room and slammed the door loudly.

Junsu took a deep breath and tried to calm his emotions.

Junsu blinked rapidly to force himself not to cry. He bit down on his lower lips and clenched his fists.

His eyes trailed back to the drawer on the other side of the room.

The sound of Micky’s stomping in the cage finally interrupted Junsu’s thoughts. He quickly walked over to free Micky from his little house.

“I’m sorry, did the yelling wake you up?” Junsu gently petted the bunny as he cuddled on Junsu’s lap.

Micky stared up at Junsu with cute eyes, as if wanting to tell him not to be sad.

Junsu smiled a little bit, but it faded immediately. It was too hard to even fake a smile at this moment.

“Micky…” Junsu whispered as he looked down at the bunny. “I love you, Micky.”


Junsu lied wide awake on his bed. He heard the sound of slamming doors and knew that Yoochun had left for work…three hours earlier than he needed to.

He sighed and glanced at the clock. He had ten hours before Yoochun return from work. That was plenty of time.

Junsu got up, went through his daily bathroom routine. After a shower, he walked out in a robe to pick out a pair of clothes. He decided on a specific pair.

Five minutes later, Junsu stood in front of the mirror. He wore a pink button up shirt that was left unbuttoned to reveal the crisp white T-shirt underneath it. He wore the perfectly white pants to match. The only thing he was missing was the brand-name messenger bag.

Junsu went to place his belongings into the messenger bag he had used the day he first arrived at this apartment. In the process, he saw the picture that still lied on the ground next to his wallet. It was the picture of the three brothers. Where was the picture of Junsu?

After a little bit of searching, he decided to put it off. He had more important things to do right now.

Junsu made a few phone calls and fed Micky. When the bunny was happy and sleeping, Junsu walked over to the drawer. He unlocked it and stared dazedly at the content.

With a tired sigh, he reached in to pull out the large yellow envelope. With weak fingers, he opened the flap to pull out the pages hidden inside.

He heart felt a familiar clench as he looked down at the bottom of the last page. ’99.999999%’, it read.

Junsu remembered the happiness he had felt when he first looked through this document. But now he was looking at it for a second time…and it hurt. He wasn’t happy. He was hurt.

Junsu assured himself that he was hurting because he had hurt Yoochun. He was not hurting because he did not want this DNA result to be true. He loved Yoochun like a brother. That was it. No more than that.

Junsu did not wish to death that the DNA results were false. He did not. Absolutely did not.

The Heavens wouldn’t make two brothers fall in love with each other. Yoochun would realize one day that he only had brotherly love towards Junsu, that it was all a misunderstanding.

He’d find the person he was truly meant to be with and forget about Junsu.

The thought of Yoochun with another companion pounded at Junsu’s heart. His fist crinkled the paper in his hand.

Only as a brother, he reminded himself. A brother.

Junsu took a deep breath and replaced the documents back into the folder. He blinked rapidly to force away the tears that threatened to fall.

He had more important things he had to do.


It was 5:02. Yoochun sat at his desk, scribbling away on a notepad while his colleagues gave him a weird look before leaving for the day. The only one left was Yunho, who was in his office preparing to leave…and the newly arrived Jaejoong.

“Yoochun? It is 5:02 and you’re still working hard?” Jaejoong inquired as he walked over to his brother.

Yoochun looked up from his notepad and at Jaejoong. “You’re here to pick up Yunho? He has his own car, you know?”

Jaejoong noted the grumpiness. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s been acting like that since he arrived early to work this morning…three hours early to be exact,” Yunho informed as he walked out of his office. He walked over to Jaejoong and Yoochun, giving Jaejoong a peck on the cheek as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

Yoochun rolled his eyes and made a disgusted face. He went back to scribbling frantically.

“What are you writing?” Jaejoong asked.

“Oh, yeah! You used to help me proof read my school assignments all the time! Here,” Yoochun shoved the notepad into Jaejoong’s hands. “See if I’m missing anything.”

Jaejoong looked at the scribbling on the notepad. “What is this?”

“Questions that I need to ask Junsu. Like, for example, this one about the rent. Why would he be so willing to let me rip him off on the rent if he doesn’t love me? He blurted it out that he knew about it when he saved me from those loan sharks. I didn’t ask him about it at the time because I assumed he did it because he was in love with me.”

“Does Junsu love you?” Jaejoong questioned.

“Of course he does! He just won’t admit it for some reason.”

“What reason?” Yunho said.

“If he’d tell me, I wouldn’t be so frustrated!”

“What DID he tell you?”

“That he doesn’t love me.”

“Is that not direct enough?” Jaejoong demanded.

“He said it, but it’s not the truth!”

“How do you know it’s not true?” Jaejoong retorted.

“How do you know it’s true?” Yoochun threw back, standing up defensively.

“Junsu would know if it’s true,” Yunho pointed out.

“No!” Yoochun exclaimed.

“Yoochun, you’re being childish and immature,” Jaejoong sighed.

“He and I are meant to be! The Heavens wouldn’t be so cruel as to make me love him this much and have it ‘NOT meant to be’ between us!”

“Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that person has to love you in return,” Yunho reasoned.

“How would you feel if Jaejoong doesn’t return your feelings?” Yunho countered.

“I…” Yunho began, and then sighed in defeat. “I would feel what you are feeling right now.”

Jaejoong glanced over at Yunho and gave him a comforting smile. Yoochun sighed and slouched back down into his chair. His buried his face in his hands.

“You’re right! You’re always right! I’m acting like a kid! I just don’t want to admit it! Don’t you understand? I’d rather tell myself that Junsu is an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about than believe that his words are the truth!”

“Yoochun,” Jaejoong touched his brother’s shoulder.

“I don’t know how to handle this. I really don’t. This has never happened to me before! How the hell is it possible to fall in love with someone like this? I want to use everything on this list to confront him, but at the same time, I’m scared! I’m scared of confronting him again and having him repeat those damn words to me again! Is it possible to die without dying?”

“You didn’t sleep last night, did you? You’re not at your best right now. Why don’t you come to my house and take a nap?” Yunho suggested.

Yoochun shot up from his seat and grabbed onto the front of Yunho’s shirt. Jaejoong tried to pry him off. “What are you doing?”

“Yunho! You can go talk to him for me! He thinks I’m irrational and immature and dumb, but he thinks you’re rational and mature and smart! He’ll listen to you!”

“I really shouldn’t…”

“Junsu helped you get together with Jaejoong! You owe him! He’ll be miserable if he leaves me! Do you want Junsu miserable?” Yoochun started shaking Yunho.

“Yoochun, stop!” Jaejoong tried to make Yoochun release Yunho’s shirt.

“It’s more like you’ll be miserable if he leaves you!” Yunho returned. “You can’t force him to love you.”

“I’m not forcing him to love me! I’m forcing him to admit that he loves me! There’s a difference!”

“Okay! We’ll help you talk to Junsu! Now stop acting like a mad man!” Jaejoong exclaimed. Yoochun finally released Yunho’s shirt.

“We’ll help?” Yunho looked at Jaejoong, who was smoothing out the wrinkles Yoochun had put on his shirt.

“Junsu did help us. It’s only fair we try to help them,” Jaejoong explained.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Yoochun was practically bowing a mile a minute.


Junsu had finished walking around the whole apartment for the fifth time, his hands clutching the strap of his messenger bag. His eyes were sad.

He now stood in the living room, his hands slowly reaching into his bag to retrieve a white envelope. The envelope contained a letter and a check.

Junsu was about to pull it out and lay it on the coffee table where Yoochun would see it when he came home.

‘Home’…Yoochun’s home. But how many times in the past months had Junsu referred to it as ‘our home’?

He wasn’t sure how many times, but he was sure that from now on…he would never refer to it as ‘our home’ any more.

Then the door opened and frightened him. He shoved the letter back into the bag and stared wide-eyed at the door. Yoochun, Jaejoong, and Yunho walked in.

“Junsu,” Jaejoong and Yunho smiled to greet him. Junsu returned their greeting with a weak smile.

“Where are you going?” Yoochun inquired, noting that Junsu was neatly dressed and the messenger bag was around his shoulder.

Junsu couldn’t look at Yoochun. He looked over at the coffee table. So close, he could have just left the letter and gotten out of here before Yoochun returned.

It would have been easier to walk away when Yoochun wasn’t around.

“M…my vacation is over so I need to get back to my job…” Junsu began.

“You’re going back to America?” Yoochun demanded.

“Yoochun,” Jaejoong tried to calm his brother by placing a hand on his arm.

“It’s about time I get back,” Junsu replied, still staring at the coffee table.

“If you’re here on vacation, then why sign a one year contract?” Yoochun interrogated. “And you knew I was ripping you off! Why pay that much when it’s not because you’re in love with me? When it’s not that you were strategizing to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“I never thought about spending the rest of my life with you,” Junsu sighed. His words were like needles to his own heart. “I have money to throw around so I allowed you to rip me off. I like spending money in the most ridiculous way because I have too much of it. Money is nothing to me.”

“If Money is nothing, then what is Love to you?” Yoochun continued.

“‘Love’ for me…” Junsu sighed again, closing his eyes in attempt to shut out the pain. “…is not you.”

Yoochun wanted to run over to Junsu and shake him, to wake him up. Jaejoong and Yunho held him back.

“Are you…going to go back to America and never come back?” Jaejoong asked.

Chapter 9
~♥Hope to the End. Always Keep the Faith♥~chloe1910 on March 9th, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
Now i understand Junsu's action....god damn it, you are making me cty...
РыбО с планеты Кавай!lindefish on July 26th, 2009 08:58 am (UTC)
i dont know what to say! cry*
ceris_meaceris_mea on August 13th, 2009 08:32 am (UTC)
i would be upset now except i remember something...
cellosymphony on August 18th, 2009 02:13 pm (UTC)
i think junsu is jae's brother. (prays for it to be true)
alicialeckalicialeck on October 20th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
yah totally agree!!! cause te other time jae came to his house and he used the comb, it could have been jae's hair.